I have never felt so busy.
It seems like there are so many projects to complete, meetings to attend, appointments to keep, homilies to write, blah blah blah.
I have noticed an effect. I am not the person of Love that I want to be.
I am seeing others too often as disruptions to my day. I am seeing others a wanters/takers of my precious time and resources. I am seeing others as annoyances.
I also fall back into the trap of seeing myself as a doer of many things.
Then end results: rude and snappy behavior towards staff and parishioners; less joy in my life; less appreciation for the small things; missed opportunities to touch others and to be touched.
I am fairly sure that is not how I want to exercise Jesus’ ministry of the priesthood.
So what do I do?
I am trying to pray each day; to take time out and just reflect.
I am trying to look into my heart and ask myself “Why am I so busy? Why can’t I say “No”?”
I am trying to reach out to friends.
I am trying to be grateful for what I have.
I am trying to do what I do as service, and suppress that darn ego of mine.
I am trying because the truth be told there is SO MUCH LOVE around me(this dawned on me whilst typing this blog out).
The other night a wonderful family in the parish surprised me with homemade muffins left outside my door.
The other week, a young man, as he entered the church, asked me with so much sincerity “How are you Father?” that I just had to stop and thank him.
This weekend I got to have dinner with a friend, and I watched another friend’s child celebrate her 6th birthday with other screaming, yelling girls.
So I have a choice. I will always be busy, but I can choose to LOVE, and be in control, or I can choose to let the busy-ness control me and become someone I do not want to return to.