Todays Gospel reading (july 4th, Mt 9:1-) is Jesus healing the paralytic. The scribes take issue with Jesus forgiving the sins of this man, and Jesus says he has the authority to do so, and does so.
There is something in here that also struck me about forgiveness and healing. What I think we have to do is to accept God’s forgiveness, and when we accept that forgiveness, we can walk forward.
Often times, what I have encountered in the Confessional and have experienced in myself is that our mistakes, our sins will paralyze us. We become fixated on the wrongs we have done, and that keeps us in one place emotionally and spiritually. I have heard people confessing the same sin over and over…and to me this says that they have not accepted God’s forgiveness. I think that they want God to punish them; they expect God to punish them for their mistakes, not forgive.
And for myself, I know “shame” has kept me at a standstill emotionally. It triggers all those fears that are so present within me, and this holds me back as a person. I am fearful of doing something new, because I do not want to to fail. I am fearful of relationships because who would want to be friends with me, etc etc.
God forgives us our sins.
It liberates us. God find us worthy of love, not punishment. This ought to inspire us to take up our own mats and GO!
Go and live; Go and forgive; Go and Love.
When I have accepted God’s forgiveness, truly, I feel liberated. The “Shame” goes away, the self-directed anger goes away; the Fear is diminished.
I am healed.